Recently I posted on my facebook page that I was considering standing on my head to gain try and gain a new outlook on life. My theory was that perhaps if I stood on my head I would be able to see things in a different light.
Being a single mom is tough. There are days I lie in bed trying to decide if it is really worth it. As a mom we have the toughest job around, but as a single mom the job responsibility is double. While I was sitting on the porch this morning watching my toddler run around the yard it came to me. I do this, not because I have to, but because these children are the most important part of who I am. They are the reason I get up in the morning and continue on.
Last night my uncle called to tell us that my cousin had a nervous break down, while I did sympathize with her, I was shocked. She has no children to be responsible for, no other responsibilities except her and her husband. I kept thinking if I have not had one yet certainly there is no reason for her to have one. That's when I realized every situation is different. I have 4 great reasons to get up in the morning. Four perfect excuses for going on and making the most of the day and our life.
There were days during and after the divorce I wondered if this was all really worth it. Did I do the right thing? Am I still doing the right thing? I question every move I do, whereas before I got divorced I never really questioned any of it. The answer is simple, I do what I have to do. I do what is best for my children.
My new outlook on life did not require me to stand on my head, all it required is watching my son run around the yard pushing is jeep while making "vroom vroom" noises. My new outlook is this: Life is too short to second guess my decisions and too short to sit on my ass all day feeling like a failure due to an ended marriage that for the most was nothing worth crying over. Yesterday is over, today is a new beginning and tomorrow is something to look forward to!
In the end it will all work out. Until next time.....