Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Yesterday@! UGH!

Yesterday was one of those days where you wish it would just end already! It started off pretty good, I drank my coffee, read a couple of articles, looked at some ideas for my home business and got a blog in even...I do believe I did anyway lol.

After all that I got ready and dang it, my hair would not do anything so I finally sighed and shoved it all in a messy type bun. Then I went to the bank and that went ok except for the huge massive line that took ages in the drive through. At the grocery store I got stuff for dinner and went to see my grandma and came home. After I got here I realized yup I forgot the toothbrush and some other neccessary items.
While cleaning the house I broke one of my favorite mugs, my 11 year old dropped Little Man when giving him a piggy back ride (He is ok thank God!) The piggy back ride, mind you, that I told her not to do.
So then to top off my glorious day (did I mention I actually burned the rice a roni?) I drove to town to bring my little brother some Taco Bell and what do I do? Well at Walgreens where I went to get the toothebrush, I locked my baby in the car! Seriously! I put my purse and the keys in the front seat and proceeded to put Little Man in his carseat. Shut the door and discovered it was locked! OH MY! Thank God for AAA! They are so worth the money and since there was a baby locked in the car they made it a top priority and I only waited like 10 minutes for them to get there!

WHew! I have never been so glad to see a day end! Keeping my fingers crossed that today goes much much better!

Hope all is well with everyone!

Until next time....

Monday, October 19, 2009

Good Morning Readers

Its a beautiful gloomy rainy morning here. Better than the snowy days in Canada haha. I have decided that every Monday morning I need to remind myself to count my blessings. Its really hard to see them throughout everyday life stuff. Especially when things seem to be going totally wrong. I do however have many blessings in my life, I just need to remind myself of that.

Blessings for today:

  1. My 4 beautiful children, who bring me many joys (and of course some not so joyous occasions like when Little Man last night decided to spread lotion all over the suede couch)
  2. My mother. There is nothing like your momma when things go wrong and you need a shoulder to "cry" on.
  3. My children and I have a roof over our heads and no one is lacking for anything they need! (Except maybe my sanity and perhaps a day off)
  4. My job, thought not my dream job its a paycheck and will help me pay the bills while I work towards starting my own business.
  5. Last for the day, but definitely not last, God. The one I can tell anything to and he will forgove me no matter what I do.

Those are the blessings for this Monday morning. Some will probably be repeated often, however, that is because they are really important. Or maybe I will just keep the original list and just add to it every week! :) Well I am off to go enjoy this rainy day by removing the hill (was a mountain yesterday) of laundry that is left to do.

Hope all is well with everyone.

Until next time....

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Be Present....

I read an article this morning while having my morning coffee. In this article the author, Max Lucado, talks about being present. For instance when your children have a play at school, a soccer game, dance recital or whatever it is they do, go to it. Do not just say you will go to it, be present at the event.

This was kind of a wake up call for me, not because I don't go to these things, I do. As a single mom we are stretched beyond our abilities most days and the last thing we want to do is be present for anything other than sleep perhaps. We are phyiscally present, but are we emotionally present? Is our mind on the event or child? Or are we watching but thinking about bills, works, bill, tasks that need to be complete or whatever else there is to take the place of our child?

We do this job of parenting because we love our children. We want the best for them and its tiring! Down right friggen exhausting even. Especially of those that do not have much help from the ex because he lives over 3,000 miles away. Whoo hoo!

What about just taking time out to play with them? Read them a story? Today so far I have worked on a business plan, hugged a hurt child, got some laundry done and the bathroom cleaned, plus got my grandmother ready to go to the emergency room. Its only noon! I still have more cleaning to do, lunch and dinner to prepare and still more laundry to finish.

My goal for this week is to set aside a time for the kids. Family time. Every saturday afternoon is going to be reserved to go to the park, play games, watch movies or whatever else there is so that we are spending quality family time together.

What about you? Are you present? Hope all is well with you all!

Until next time....

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Tired words from a mom! :)

Wow! I swear these days tired should be my middle name. After picking up after the baby, household chores, errands, and various other tasks in a day I am asleep before my head hits the pillow at night.

My favorite dumb act of the day is going to walmart, getting everything BUT what I went their to get...diapers! LOL Of course, can not live without those so back into the car we all get, drive down to walmart and ARGH they are out of the size I need!Of course. They are a little big but I got the size up lol.

On the bright side I am reading a good book....Nights in Rodanthe by Nicholas Sparks! Can not wait to add it to the Book review blog!

Hope all is well with everyone.

Until next time.....

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Working mom vs. SAHM

I was watching Dr. Phil today, or rather I was trying to while getting dinner on the table and helping with homework, his show today was about SAHM vs Working moms. I find this a tiring debate because there is no right or wrong side.

As women we should not be putting each other down for how we run our families. I have been on both sides of the fence and prefer to Stay at home with my little ones than being a working mom. That is just my opinion. I do not believe that my opinion is the be it and end all of the debate. Regardless of whether you work or stay at home, being mom is HARD and its TIRING. Whether you admit that or not...it is. One of the women on there claimed that judgement was God given and that she was going to judge....well I hate to tell her this, judgement is God only! God reserves the right to cast judgment, he does NOT hand it out on a platter for us to judge. Not only that, but how can we judge one another when we ourselves are not perfect and also when we have not lived in the other persons shoes. God reserves judgement for himself and himself alone.

As a SAHM I spent my days taking the children to the library, gymboree, the park to friends houses for playdates. That is the fun side. I also had to manage to do laundry, make meals, clean the house and the many other chores and things that any mom has to do. I also had to make a schedule so that things would run smoothly, not that they always did. The downside to being a SAHM is that there is minimal adult interaction or conversation. Our job is our home and therefore we are there 24/7. Some days we want to pull our hair out because, and yes I am going to say it, our children drive us crazy! The constant bickering, the fighting, the messing up of each room as you go to the next room to clean or just the sheer stubborness that can come with each child. At the end of the day the last thing I wanted to do was baths and bedtime lol. Believe it or not my ex would complain about bathing the children.....yes he worked but I was working with them FULL time! We did put them to bed together and I do miss that. Now a days I just fall in to bed! :)

As a working mom I tried hard to be organized and keep a schedule but it was difficult with childnre who were not used to doing a lot around the house. Even so I still had to go to the store, do the bills, clean the house, run errands, leave work to pick up a sick child, have teacher conferences and soo soo much more, but on top of this I had to go to work. At the same time, I got a break from the children for 8 hours knowing that even though they were not in my hands, they were each in capable and caring hands. This made it a bit easier, but I would rather be the one to take care of them full time.

As women we are our own worst enemy. We berate ourselves for working because we are not with our children, but we also berate ourselves for not working (outside the home) because we feel we should be contributing to the family income (even though by not working we are saving ourselves a fortune in childcare costs)

Life is hard enough....stressful enough......and painful enough! Lets enjoy the life we have, lets support each other instead of putting each other down for our values and opinions. Women should be supporting each other, not pulling each other down! Neither side is right and neither side is wrong. I thought terrorists were bad, but our friend on Dr. Phil today is just as bad. She gives us SAHM's a bad name but what is even worse is that she put down all working moms regardless of their situations. Not to say that any working or nonworking mom should be put down but let's face it some moms work because they have to for the well being of the family, not because they want to.

And guess what....I think that if a child is loved, cared for and in a happy home environment, he or she will thrive just fine in this world. Everyone's values are different but not better than anyone elses.

Until next time....

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Book Review Blog

I started a new blog for book reviews!

www.coffeypage.blogspot.com if you are interested. It will be a blog about the books I read. When I am done I will post a review of the book. I will also be starting a childrens book review blog in the next couple of days.

Enjoy. Until next time...

Monday, October 12, 2009

Just a hello!

When I started this blog I just wanted some place to vent my frustrations, and I still do. At first I have always kept some kind of a journal in one form or another. However, I thought this might be better, as I am probably not the only one out there going through all this crap! :)

(Little man is crying...BRB)

Ok so now that I have Little Man back to sleep I forgot where I had been going with this thought haha.

It has been a very very long day and I am sure that somehow tomorrow will be just as long or longer! So I am going to end here for now and if my thought comes back I will write it down to post it tomorrow!

Until next time....

Busy week past and ahead!

Whew I had a busy week last week and didn't get to post as much as I wanted to. Plust I read 3 James Patterson books. The man is a brilliant writer! I only hope I can write as well as he does. So anyway, I am still waiting to hear about the job I interviewed for. (Did I post that I had had an interview?)

Ultimately I would like to work from home. That is my goal and I have been working hard to make that goal a reality. I am looking into the business registration process and what I need to do get that done. I have also been planning my website and what kind of content that I want on it. I have been writing a business plan which takes up most of my time when I am not running around doing mommmy stuff, or taking care of my grandma who came home unexpectantly yesterday.

One of the blogs that I read does a "What I learned this week", which I just learned about, and I had been thinking of doing something like that on this blog, but what I am planning to do is on the last day of the month blogging about what I learned about myself and life. Due to all the many many things going on lately I do not thing that I would be able to do it weekly. Of course now I am going to have to remember to write down what I learned as I learn it. HAHA. Another thing I am thinking about doing is starting a book club. I LOVE to read and I think it would be a lot of fun to get together with others who are reading the same book. I would like to do it from home, but first I have to find a house to move into lol!

So how is everyone else this week? Hope that all is well with you and I am heading into another week full of business planning, taking care of Grandma, and playing mommy! I have designated weekends as family time as I will be working from 3pm to 11, so on the weekends I will not be blogging or checking emails! :)

Until next time......

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs....

I took Little Man to see this movie. It was pretty funny and a whole lot strange. The end of the movie scared Little Man I believe. He did not like when the Brent character (who by the way is totally disgusting LOL) got swallowed by one of the Man eating chickens! All in all thought it was a good movie. The underlying tone of the movie is to accept people for who they are.

The parent child relationship is a complicated thing as it is. When the parent does not understand the child he or she is raising it makes it that much more complicated. As a mom (and let's face it, I can not really speak for Dad's out there because I am not one) I love each of my children unconditionally and for who they are. Each one has a (VERY) unique personality and even though (especially) with my oldest there is a lot that I do not understand about her, I accept that she is who she is and love her for being able to be just that.
Probably one of the hardest parts of parenting, whether a single parent or not, is to help your child become their own individual self. All children tend to want to follow the trends and be like everyone else. Bug, is one of the few children I know that wants to fit in, but wants to fit in as herself. Its hard to teach our children the value of being themselves and not trying to be someone they are not for other people. I seem to have managed this with the older 3 and hopefully will accomplish this for Little Man.

Until next time...

Monday, October 5, 2009

Oh My! I have seriously lost it....

Perhaps I never had it to begin with! However one little mistake turned into a HUGE mess. Of course I could have left well enough alone, probably should have. SO what happened? Well I apparently sent a request to my ex's girlfriend asking to follow her twitter.....UGH! The last thing I wanted to do. Lord knows I have no interest in their life.

So what turned out to be an innocent, and it was innocent, curious reply from her asking why I would want to, I turned into the psycho ex, letting everything I have held back for the past two years out. Having taken psychology I know that holding things in, is bad. One of the reasons I started this blog. I mean I let everything out. Which of course as we all know never makes us feel better, if anything it makes us feel worse.

I am just tired. Really, truly and utterly tired. I am tired of all the bullshit I never thought would come if my ex and I got divorced, then again, I truly never thought we would get divorced. As mad as I am, I am not really mad at her. Sure she should have left a married man alone and backed off.....instead of telling me to back off my own husband, but the truth is, he should have been man enough to do the same. To be man enough to come to me and tell me he was having issues and we needed to work them out. Instead I got all the blame for everything that ever went wrong in our marriage including him losing his job and never bothering to find another one.

Ugh. Perhaps in the future I will learn to just keep quiet LOL!

OO and I did update the blog page with a new background. I hope you enjoy it!

Until next time....

Lovely Blog award

I recieved this blog award from 3 Peas and Me. I noticed today that there is a comments section to the blogs, so I was checking them out. Thank you for the award! :) I do not have many blogs that I am currently following, but I plan to spend this week looking up some more blogs to follow. I love reading them and catching up while I drink my coffee in the morning. The news is all about Obama and his new healthcare or other miserable news no one really wants to start their morning off with.

I do have a few ideas that I am thinking about doing with this blog that I will be working on in the next week or so as well. I will post a follow up blog today for the blog I decide to award this to.

Until next time....

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Children ramblings!

While I think up a title for this post I will just write it, and perhaps the title will come. I swear as I go around cleaning the house, the little people I call children are sneaking around behind me messing everything up. I am sure they have it choreographed to a T! haha. One looks on to tell the others when they are about to be spotted and the rest create chaos and wreak havoc on the clean surfaces of my home! ARGH! Our significant others and friends as well as the family we have, all wonder why we go gray early... it's easy....our children!!! Nothing ages you or grays you, like the pitter patter of little feet dumping legos, spreading out barbie clothes or putting handprints on my crystal clear clean windows!

Have you ever stepped on one of those little legos that are for 8 years and older? OWIE! Well as much as that hurts try stepping on the mega blocks! Whoo talk about pain! haha! Its amazing! With all the child proofing and making toys kids safe and friendly did no one stop to think hey maybe we need to make them mom step on friendly? I mean what little kid actually goes around cleaning up their toys when they are done? Not many for sure, which means that out little people's feets are not gonna be standing on them, ours are!

Well its off to bed for me and my sore feet!

Until next time...

Friday, October 2, 2009

Ramblings of the night! :)

I am a little overtired these days, but that seems to be my normal state of being these days. Its amazing really how a few years can change the very core of who you are. I knew the divorce would not be easy and that we would all have to make adjustments.
I was talking to a friend of mine who may be going down the same road soon. While we were discussing her situation, the similarities struck me as "deja vu" like.
My husband and I got married when I was 18, same as she and her husband. We think that at 18 we automatically grow up and become adults. As if somehow we have lived enough to know that we want to spend the rest of our lives with this one person, even though our life is just beginning. At 18 we should be looking forward to college and hanging out with our friends and going to parties, not walking down the aisle and changing diapers.
Even so, at 30 I did not see my self alone raising my children with no help from the man who helped bring them into the world. The man who started out as a devoted father and loving husband is now nonexistant and distant. Certainly not the man I married and wanted to be with forever.
At first it made me sick to think that he could give up his family for someone woman who was pathetic enough to play the, "I love you so much, its making me sick and putting me in the hospital game". That he has given up nothing and I gave up everything. That he spent his 20's doing the college thing and hanging and I missed out because I loved him enough to not need that. It made me mad that we started this family together and I ended up being responsible for it alone. I mean what kind of woman goes after a married man with four kids and btw who is jobless? Either way, I am glad that he is out of my life because apparently he doesnt know what family and commitment means and who needs that? Not to mention that The reason I do this is for these children I brought in to the world. Because being a mom is not what I am it is who I am. Its hard, extremely so at times to do this alone, but in the end it will be well worth all that we have gone through and all that we will go through.
So even though at times I may feel some anger for the man who put us all here, it goes away and all I feel is sadness for the man who is missing out on o so much. Our first baby girl is going to be in jr high next year! Watching her grow up and become the woman she will be is fascinating and remarkable. All of them are changing every day and there is nothing in this world I would miss that for. Nothing and certainly not for anyone.

Until next time...