Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Lonelienss and Single mom status

When I was a married stay at home mom, all the single moms told me that being a single mom was lonely. To some extent I find they are right, however, the majority of the time I find that I rather prefer it and its not all that lonely either. I have friends that I hang out with, and family that help out.

I can see where some might think its lonely being a single mom though. On the surface it looks like I am doing it all alone, and for the most part I am, and there is no one for me to "vent" too and that is true too. That is what I have this blog for, right? Right. Day to day life keeps me busy from the time I get up until the time I literally fall into bed at night. By the time I get the kids up, ready for school and out the door in the morning it doesn't dawn on me that I am doing this alone, as I did this alone when I was married. Now that I have to go to work, fit in homework time and dinner and the various other things I need to get done, things I never did before, I do not have time to realize that I am doing the job of both mom and dad.

My kids miss their dad, granted, but they are happy, healthy and very well adjusted children and that is more than I could have ever hoped for married or single. Our life works for us and even though there are things we would like to change (for instance Kira wanting her own room with a lock on the door), we have adjusted to our new roles and life.

Sure there are days and moments when I want to pull out my hair or lock my self in the bathroom and never come out (usually when they are all trying to kill one another) but it passes. Not to mention I know many married moms with husbands around to help, who feel exactly the same way I do occasionally and they even feel lonely at times. Imagine that! :)

Hope that all is well with everyone.

Until next time....


  1. i am in total agreement there. i'm doing exactly the same thing i was doing when married, only for one less person. the few times i feel lonely i wonder why. what is different? what is truly missing? yes my children miss their father, but they never really saw him before. hmm, and when they did, he didn't really have anything to say to us. hmm, and so those times i lie in bed wondering what it would be like to be held, i laugh, because i never really had that before either. thank you for venting. it's nice to read that i am not the only one. and yes, being busy helps with the sadness too. it's only when i have nothing to do (hmm, when is that?) that i feel lonely. lol

  2. Being married had its benefits and in the beginning of my marriage it was great even. We did everything 50/50 but after a couple years it was mostly me doing everything. At first it was at night but now that is when I enjoy my peace and quiet :)

  3. Love it!!
    To the point, articulate, and interesting
    Babies Are a Gift from God!

  4. I know the feeling. I'm a single mom of a 3 yr old n in Nigeria, thats the definition of stress. But I feel blessed and even when it gets lonely I remind myself how good I have it (not eazy by the way).