Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Working mom vs. SAHM

I was watching Dr. Phil today, or rather I was trying to while getting dinner on the table and helping with homework, his show today was about SAHM vs Working moms. I find this a tiring debate because there is no right or wrong side.

As women we should not be putting each other down for how we run our families. I have been on both sides of the fence and prefer to Stay at home with my little ones than being a working mom. That is just my opinion. I do not believe that my opinion is the be it and end all of the debate. Regardless of whether you work or stay at home, being mom is HARD and its TIRING. Whether you admit that or is. One of the women on there claimed that judgement was God given and that she was going to judge....well I hate to tell her this, judgement is God only! God reserves the right to cast judgment, he does NOT hand it out on a platter for us to judge. Not only that, but how can we judge one another when we ourselves are not perfect and also when we have not lived in the other persons shoes. God reserves judgement for himself and himself alone.

As a SAHM I spent my days taking the children to the library, gymboree, the park to friends houses for playdates. That is the fun side. I also had to manage to do laundry, make meals, clean the house and the many other chores and things that any mom has to do. I also had to make a schedule so that things would run smoothly, not that they always did. The downside to being a SAHM is that there is minimal adult interaction or conversation. Our job is our home and therefore we are there 24/7. Some days we want to pull our hair out because, and yes I am going to say it, our children drive us crazy! The constant bickering, the fighting, the messing up of each room as you go to the next room to clean or just the sheer stubborness that can come with each child. At the end of the day the last thing I wanted to do was baths and bedtime lol. Believe it or not my ex would complain about bathing the children.....yes he worked but I was working with them FULL time! We did put them to bed together and I do miss that. Now a days I just fall in to bed! :)

As a working mom I tried hard to be organized and keep a schedule but it was difficult with childnre who were not used to doing a lot around the house. Even so I still had to go to the store, do the bills, clean the house, run errands, leave work to pick up a sick child, have teacher conferences and soo soo much more, but on top of this I had to go to work. At the same time, I got a break from the children for 8 hours knowing that even though they were not in my hands, they were each in capable and caring hands. This made it a bit easier, but I would rather be the one to take care of them full time.

As women we are our own worst enemy. We berate ourselves for working because we are not with our children, but we also berate ourselves for not working (outside the home) because we feel we should be contributing to the family income (even though by not working we are saving ourselves a fortune in childcare costs)

Life is hard enough....stressful enough......and painful enough! Lets enjoy the life we have, lets support each other instead of putting each other down for our values and opinions. Women should be supporting each other, not pulling each other down! Neither side is right and neither side is wrong. I thought terrorists were bad, but our friend on Dr. Phil today is just as bad. She gives us SAHM's a bad name but what is even worse is that she put down all working moms regardless of their situations. Not to say that any working or nonworking mom should be put down but let's face it some moms work because they have to for the well being of the family, not because they want to.

And guess what....I think that if a child is loved, cared for and in a happy home environment, he or she will thrive just fine in this world. Everyone's values are different but not better than anyone elses.

Until next time....

1 comment:

  1. you are right. we do beat ourselves up. and i yes, it is hard to know what it best. but as a mom, we have to decide what is best for our families and children. and that is that.